AWESOME AUTUMN

So I have to tell you...Autumn is amazing! She is so funny and sarcastic and just AWESOME! I've never seen a kid so intelligent and funny. She is witty too. And her facial expressions kill me. She will tell you what she thinks and how she feels and how you make her feel. One thing about her is you will always know where you stand... good, bad or indifferent. She has a vivid imagination too. She is 3 and half and still amazes me everyday. She is so full of life and love. She loves to give loves and snuggle. She is the sweetest thing ever. She has her not-so-sweet side too sometimes but the good far out way the bad. 


If she hears you cuss she says, "You shouldn't say dat. Dat's not a good word." "If you say dat again or I'm gonna kick your butt!" She so so funny! She puts her hand on her hip and rolls her eyes if she thinks you are being dumb too. I have no idea where she gets that from. I have never put my hand on my hip like that.  Maybe it's from Gma AZ. Hmmmmm...things to ponder. Yesterday she was "talking" to Poppa (my step dad) on her "phone" (it was actually an old eye shadow case). She hands it to me and says, here talk to your dad. I said, Oh my dad called from heaven? She says....No silly, not your real dad, my Poppa Gordon. DUH! Jeez. hahahaha. She kills me! How does she know that he's not my "real" dad? She is so smart. She figures things out so fast and is still so curious about everything. I don't think she will ever stop amazing me. She is so beautiful!


She LOVES her daddy too. They sit on the balcony in the morning (when he's awake) and they just chat for the longest time. It is so cute to listen to her talk so big. Every time he goes out on the balcony she goes out there with him and just chats away. At night when we go to bed she always plays with my hair and pets my face and gets all kissy and lovey. It is so sweet. And tells me over and over again..."I lub you so much mommy. I'm gonna miss you when you go to work tomorrow." She is so awesome! 


She is still a little bitty thing too. She weighs in at 31.5 pounds. But she is tall. Almost 40 inches. She is incredible. She loves her Marley too. Poor dog. Probably thinks she is in hell most days. Autumn just won't leave her alone. She is like the abominable snowman with bugs bunny. LOL It is kinda funny until Marley gets hurt.


Dave graduated PHD Certified from Harley in Dec. Now he is in Honda. He graduates from there in June. We are so excited! Autumn and I are so very proud of him. It's amazing that we have been together for almost 6 years and married for almost 5. WOW! It seems like just yesterday I was looking at him from across the pool table wishing he was mine. He is so awesome! He always tells me how beautiful I am and much he loves me. Even though I've gained the weight of a small teenager. hahahah. I am so deeply in love with him still. I have been working out almost everyday and even though I don't see a difference and my clothes still fit the same...He always tells me how good I look and that I am toning up and getting smaller. I think he is just keeping me focused....It's working! 


Our bed isn't big enough for all three of us any more so we have a small mattress on the floor next to it. Autumn was doing really good sleeping in it by herself. Then Dave's back started giving him trouble again. Our bed is too soft so now he sleeps on that firm little mattress. Every night when he comes to bed he always pets my head and puts his arm up and touches me so I know he is there and that he loves me. He is so awesome. His attention and love more than make up for the lack of house work he helps with. LOL I wouldn't trade him for anything in the whole world.


I love my little family. They are so AWESOME! Things are really tough right now but with my family and my undying faith in God, I know things will be OK. God will provide! 


That's the latest update for now...... See you soon and God Bless you!

Sleeping Angel...Waking Monste

My sweet little Autumn was so cute today. She woke up all snuggly in the wee hours of the morning and I fell asleep listening to her breathe and feeling her warm little body next to me, taking in her sweet scent. She is amazing! I got up for work and got ready and peeked in to check on her and her little mouth was moving like she was talking but no sound was coming out. It was so adorable! Then she woke up......
she was freaking out so bad cuz she knew I was leaving for work. I felt so bad. It broke my heart. She kept saying through tearful sobs, "momma take me work wis you...me go too, me go too!" It broke heart. I felt so bad. She is usally asleep when I leave. I called her a little bit ago and she said she was sitting with Dylan and waiting for me to come home to her. She said numerous times..."come home me...come home me soon!".

Another Update

My last post was in March....TOO LONG!!!! So much has happened since then. Short recap.....moved in with Dave's family for a few months while we were trying to get back on our feet.
Chari and Luis had a beautiful baby boy they named Luis Benjamin "Benji" Ayala. He is so freakin cute! He is a little chunk too. Unfortunately We moved to AZ before she had him so I have not been able to hold him at all. SUCKS!!!!!
Autumn turned 2 in June. She is a riot! Still tiny too. She is tall but still skinny. She never stops going though so that is probably why....that and she didn't used to eat much. She eats really good now. And she feeds herself which is nice. Still on sippy cut though. She did good for a while with regular cups but then started demanding the sippy again. She goes back and forth. Started to use the big girl potty recently but her first bowel movement scared her when it splashed the water. She is done with that now. LOL She "pees" in it a lot....well peeing for her. She also wipes even though she doesn't really "go". But it's a start.
We moved to phoenix so Dave could go the Harley school out here. We've been here 2 months now. It is finally starting to cool off! UGH! I sure do miss the winters in Utah. I miss the snow. It is really nice to be around my family after so many years. Haven't been able to see much of them. But when I do it is really nice. 
Autumn has gotten really close to my mom...until I get home from work that is. Then she turns into a brat! Wants nothing to do her. I got another job by the way. It is great! I love it. Still working Castle from home too.  
Autumn loves her big brother and her pappa Gordon. He lets her do whatever she wants. I had to break of the "carry me" habit when we first got here cuz all he did was carry her around with him every where he went. Nipped that one the bud. Can't take her to the store anymore cuz she turns into a major BRAT!!! She wants to run all over the place and screams if you don't let her. She is getting better though. we actually have some nights where we get the bed to ourselves too! Woo Hoo! There have been about 4 or 6 nights she has gone to bed with gma and stayed there all night. Although 2 of those nights she came in our room around 4AM. But it was nice to stretch out for a change! hahahaha! She is so independent and the same time still very needy.  She is AWESOME!! Sometimes I want to drive off a cliff but those times are very few. When she gets frustrated with something she says "Damn it!" until it is fixed. Trying to break that habit. It's all me on that one! LOL Her newest though is, "What the hell is that?" Or "What the hell is that about?" I try to stop her but I just laugh too much! LOL If you tell her not to do something she says "I DO!" and then we threaten to spank her and she says, "OH MY GOSH! FINE!" She cracks me up! She moves chairs around so she can climb on things like counters....I've not seen her do it but my mom tells me about it everyday! I think she is trying to give gma a heart attack! LOL She loves her dog Capone. They are one in the same! If it's not one it's the other getting into things they shouldn't be getting into. It's like they tag team! LOL
We had our first video chat with our Utah family. It was sooooo cool! We got to see every one and talk for a little while. It was so nice to see everyone and hear their voices and see little Benji. You know you miss them everyday but you actually get to see your family and it makes you realized just how much you miss them. I've spent the last four years with them for holidays and birthdays and get togethers.....more then I have been able to spend with my own family in the last 13 years.....I really miss them. It is definitely hard being away from them all. Being home is bitter sweet. I wish we could all live in the same city or at least the same state. But life is what it is and we have to make the best out of it.
Dave is doing AWESOME in school! I am so proud of him! He is AWESOME! I will post some pics soon. I am at work so I don't have them to upload. Thanks for reading!

Losing It!!!

SOOOOOOO.......I am down 26 pounds now! Woo Hoo! I am no longer shopping in the "Fat Store". hahaha I got a new outfit yesterday. A size 18 misses reg Levi's (no 18 womens) and an extra large misses shirt (not a XXL womens)! I am so excited. I haven't lost anything in the last 2 weeks but I have not gained either. I also haven't been working out much due to my neck being so messed up. I am so excited.....oh yeah I already  said that! LOL Did I mention that the size 18 misses reg are almost too big?! Woo Hoo!!!!! Oh and one more thing.....My new panties don't look like parachutes for midgets anymore! Yeah! I will post before and after pics soon. I still have a long way to go but I am off to a great start.

Perfect Morning

Sooo...I woke up late this morning which isn't so good. It is the way I woke up this morning. My beautiful baby girl was laying on my pillow with me, stroking my face and saying, "Mommy way uh" which is her way of saying wake up. It was so cute. I open my eyes ever so slightly and see her looking at me with those big, beautiful, sparkly, deep brown eyes filled with all the love in the world. I couldn't help but smile. I couldn't keep my eyes open at first so she decided help me with that while she just giggled her little head off. Then she put her forehead and nose against mine and started petting my face again....Then daddy grabbed her ans hugged her and she was just being a giggle monster. It was so hard to leave her this morning. Days like this make me wish I worked from home again.....not that I would get anything done when she being so lovey. hahahaha! I love my baby girl....she is absolutely perfect!

The Weight

Soooooo....I started the hCG diet a few weeks ago. I have lost 20 pounds so far(15 pounds of "BAD FAT" and 5 pounds of water). Woo Hoo!!!! I have 3 weeks left for this round, a 6 week break and then hopefully just 1 more round of the hCG and I will be down to my goal weight. Oh yeah! I have also lost 10 inches around my waist! YES!!!!! I am so excited!

Autumn Being Sooooooo CUTE!

Christmas '09

Stuff...

Here are some pics of my sewing projects. They will be on the left hand side of the page in a slide show. One of the blankets I made is missing for some reason. Whatever! Anyway. Here they are. I have way too many photos of Autumn to decide which ones to add here. I will add a few recent ones like from halloween and her birthday which was in June. Going forward though I will update with recent photos monthly. hahahaha! Sorry out of staters! I love you guys......

More....

My baby girl is also very nurturing. When you are sick she wants to take of you. She will rub your back if you are vomitting while she cries because she is scared for you. She is so sweet. A couple of weekends ago was really bad for me. I was in so much pain from head to toe. She new I didn't feel good and just sat and watched Elmo or played with her toys. Every so often she would come over to the couch and rest her head on my chest and rub my head as if to say, "I'ts ok mommy. You will feel better soon." She is the most loving baby! Not much for cuddles though.

I have picked up the are of sewing. I post some pics soon. It is super fun and relaxing for me. I love it!

ALL the updates for the last year

Sooo...Where to begin.....Christmas last year was great. We went to gmas house and had a wonderful family dinner. Shortly thereafter we moved back to SL. Things didn't work out with Daves job at T-Town. The guy was a douche! We lived with Chari(Daves youngest sister) for a bit when we first moved back. That didn't work out very well. Then I went to my moms for 5 weeks so she could FINALLY meet her granddaughter. It was great. We really enjoyed our time out there. The last week we were there I started getting really emotional and crying a lot. I thought it was just because I was leaving and didn't really want to and it was the first time I was away from my husband and thought I just needed to be with him again. I got back and it got worse. It got to the point where I couldn't make myself stop crying. I found no joy in anything. Not even my beautiful baby girl. It was like the joy had been sucked out of me. I felt like running away from everything and everyone I knew and start a new life. My mom (in-law) was very supportive. I thought she would hate me for hurting Dave and Autumn so much. I took care of her but didn't play with her anymore. Had interest in her or Dave. Everyone kept telling me it was just depression put I didn't feel depressed. I didn't feel anything at all. But at the same time couln't stop crying either. Finally everyone convinced me that I needed help and commited myself to the psych ward. Best thing I ever did! Spent 11 glorious day there.....hahahaha. Got on some meds...which I'm glad to say I have not been on for several months now. I still take celexa for my anxiety. No one likes to be around someone who is angry all the time. I was suffering from post partum depression. Apparently it can hit anywhere in the first 2 years of birth. WOW! That was a trip.
Last year was tough...we lost virtually everything. But we have our family and eachother. I have many blessing in my life and many things to be thankful for. I think this last year was a also a breakthrough for me and the in-laws. We had a few helacious fights but I think we are all ok now. I finally feel like I am truely part of the family. It is a great feeling. I wouldn't trade them for anything in the world. ok maybe a million dollars....hahahaha just kidding mom! Really!
New developments.......I have a real blood sister! woo hoo! Always new that but never knew more then her first name. We are getting to know eachother. The good, bad and even the ugly truth. I think we will be great friends and always family.....Merry Christmas! My brother may be coming to visit for Christmas for two weeks with his wife. I am so excited! I haven't seen him in three years and have never met his beautiful wifey. I hope the weather lets them come!
As for Autumn... so much to say there! She is a handful! Finally stopped screaming at 6 months....well started tapering down anyway. She is super funny! She has the best personality. She is silly and goofy and happy all the time now. Once she started walking she stopped crying all the time. If only she would've started walking at two months! hahaha! She still doesn't sleep through the night and she rarely eats. She is way tiny....only 21 pounds and 31 inches. She is 18 months old now. She says, mommy, dada, chelsie, daisy, shoes, juice, cheese, bottle, kitty, dog, bye, night night and some others and of course babbles non stop in baby gibberish. She looks like her daddy with my eyes. She is so beautiful! And so much fun. She is a great climber and loves to clean....well she tries but usually makes a bigger mess. She wants to be such a big girl. Doesn't want much for toys. Pens, the computer basically anything we play with she wants to play with. Doesn't watch TV unless Elmo is on. She can do the hokey pokey. She can find things you didn't know you lost and lose things you really need to find. She can throw things away on command and knows to give you the phone when it rings or vibrates. Bath time is her fav except fo the washing part. hahaha! She loves the stairs and is a huge animal lover! I love my baby girl! Must go home now. Hope you are satisfied with the updates. I will have new pics posted soon!

OMG! It has been tooo long

It has been over a year since I last updated our blog. I am sooooooooo Sorry! I promise to get this updated by Christmas so keep your eyes open! New photos and updates of the family and of course my sweet baby Autumn will be coming soon! Thank you for your patience.....

I Love My Family

We spent this last weekend with our family. Dave had a bad week so we just wanted to get away from everything and be around the ones we love the most and be surrounded by people who love us. I have to say despite the couch and floor it was very relaxing. The first night neither of us slept. Autumn slept from 10:30 to 6:00 without a peep the whole night! I was impressed. Then she napped from 7:30 to 11! Woo Hoo! That day was pretty crazy though. She wanted nothing to do with anyone but Dave or myself. Sunday night (the 2nd night) she slept from 10 to 6 again without a peep. WOW!!! Monday was great! We slept decent Sunday night so we were more rested. Autumn was an absolute joy to be around. Grandma had to work so she missed most of it but Poppa (Grandpa) really got to enjoy her company. I know that Grandparents love their grandbabies but I'm telling you, I have never seen anyone light up the way they do around her. Our family (both sides) have had some very hard times the last few years and though it seems as if there is no light at the end of the tunnel, when she is around you would never know it. All the troubles in the world seem to disappear. I know they do for Dave and I every time we see that beautiful smile and hear that adorable laugh. I never realized what she meant to this family until this last weekend. The sparkle has been there since day one, but seeing everyone with her this past weekend and being around them for the entire weekend I finally realize that she is exactly what this family has needed. She is the light at the end of the tunnel. I can not tell you how nice it was to be around the family this weekend. We might all be crazy at times and don't always get along, but when it counts, when it really matters and when we really need it, we are all there for eachother. I am proud to call them my family and I couldn't wish for a better group of people to raise my daughter with. She is so loved and adored by everyone in her life. When you see them with her and the way they look at her...... there is no doubt..... she is their angel as well as ours... a miracle from God and a true blessing...... We love you!!!!!

5 Months Old

Autumn is 5 months old today! She is so cute! I swear she gets cuter every single day. More demanding too. But you know something? All the bad days seem to disappear everytime I see that beautiful smile and that sparkle in her eyes. She is so smart and funny too. She learns new things everyday and she has the cutes personality. She gets so excited about things like me talking to her or her reflection or absolutely nothing. It is so cute too. She starts laughing and giggling and her arms fly around and her legs kick. It is so damn cute. I never thought I would be able to have any more kids so when I found out I was pregnant with her it was a miracle! And through the all the crying, sleepless nights, personal frustrations and emotional meltdowns, she is PERFECT!!! I can't believe she has been with us for 5 months already. Amazing.......

Firsts

We picked her up from Aunt Chelsie's yesterday. She had a great time! She went shopping with Chelsie, Chari and Grandma. They spoiled her rotten! I have to say though, it was a miserable weekend for us. We should have revelled in the freedom of not having her here but instead we counted the seconds until it was time to pick her up. We are pathetic! hahaha!

Today Autumn finally ate from a spoon. We've been trying this out for about a month now. Finally she got it down. She ate cereal from a spoon and bottles for breakfast and lunch. She only wanted her bottle for dinner though. She looked so cute! She kept grabbing my hand and pulling it to her face. She had cereal and peaches from her nose down!! She makes me laugh! She was laughing all day today. She is so freakin' cute. I love her so much!!!!

Happy Halloween!!!

This is Autumn's first Halloween! She looked so cute in the tigger costume daddy picked out for her. We had fun too. We went to our friend Paul's and had a barbecue (steak and potatoes). We took a few pics of Autumn and Jacob (Paul's son). Jacob is 10 months old and super cute. The other day he came over and Paul was holding both of them on his lap. Jacob smacked her in the face with his eraser and she started screaming. He felt bad and then he started crying. It was pretty cute. I hope they will become good friends.

She is also having her first sleep over. She is with her Aunt Chelsie tonite. Though the break and rest will be nice, I miss her so much. 5 minutes after she left I wanted to call Chelsie and tell her to bring my baby back. I am so pathetic! Dave and I both cried. I miss her so much! This sucks! I can't wait until tomorrow when we go pick her up. I am absolutely lost without her.....

Brandon's Birthday

Today my son Brandon's 17th birthday!! I can't believe it. I know by the sound of his voice and the way he talks that he is 17.... But damn! He is so awesome, intelligent and funny. He has his dad's scense of humor that's for sure! I sure do miss him! HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRANDON!!! I LOVE YOU!!!!

Monthly Weight Check

Today was another monthly weight check for Autumn. See, she was born weighing 6 lbs. 1 oz. and though she is growing at a normal rate in height she had only gained 2 pounds up to her 2 month check up. Her doc had us change her formula mixture to give her more calories. By her 4 month check up she still only weighed 10 lbs. 10 oz. Still only 1 lb. a month average gain. So her doc had us start putting cereal in her bottles with Karo syrup. That was 2 weeks ago. She had a weight check today and has gained almost a full pound in just 2 weeks! I am so happy! If her weight doesn't start to pick up to normal we have to see a specialist to see if there is a problem somewhere like burning more calories than she can consume or more serious underlying conditions. So needless to say.....we are very happy!!! She now weighs 11 lbs. 8 oz. Woo Hoo!!!