Sooo...Where to begin.....Christmas last year was great. We went to gmas house and had a wonderful family dinner. Shortly thereafter we moved back to SL. Things didn't work out with Daves job at T-Town. The guy was a douche! We lived with Chari(Daves youngest sister) for a bit when we first moved back. That didn't work out very well. Then I went to my moms for 5 weeks so she could FINALLY meet her granddaughter. It was great. We really enjoyed our time out there. The last week we were there I started getting really emotional and crying a lot. I thought it was just because I was leaving and didn't really want to and it was the first time I was away from my husband and thought I just needed to be with him again. I got back and it got worse. It got to the point where I couldn't make myself stop crying. I found no joy in anything. Not even my beautiful baby girl. It was like the joy had been sucked out of me. I felt like running away from everything and everyone I knew and start a new life. My mom (in-law) was very supportive. I thought she would hate me for hurting Dave and Autumn so much. I took care of her but didn't play with her anymore. Had interest in her or Dave. Everyone kept telling me it was just depression put I didn't feel depressed. I didn't feel anything at all. But at the same time couln't stop crying either. Finally everyone convinced me that I needed help and commited myself to the psych ward. Best thing I ever did! Spent 11 glorious day there.....hahahaha. Got on some meds...which I'm glad to say I have not been on for several months now. I still take celexa for my anxiety. No one likes to be around someone who is angry all the time. I was suffering from post partum depression. Apparently it can hit anywhere in the first 2 years of birth. WOW! That was a trip.
Last year was tough...we lost virtually everything. But we have our family and eachother. I have many blessing in my life and many things to be thankful for. I think this last year was a also a breakthrough for me and the in-laws. We had a few helacious fights but I think we are all ok now. I finally feel like I am truely part of the family. It is a great feeling. I wouldn't trade them for anything in the world. ok maybe a million dollars....hahahaha just kidding mom! Really!
New developments.......I have a real blood sister! woo hoo! Always new that but never knew more then her first name. We are getting to know eachother. The good, bad and even the ugly truth. I think we will be great friends and always family.....Merry Christmas! My brother may be coming to visit for Christmas for two weeks with his wife. I am so excited! I haven't seen him in three years and have never met his beautiful wifey. I hope the weather lets them come!
As for Autumn... so much to say there! She is a handful! Finally stopped screaming at 6 months....well started tapering down anyway. She is super funny! She has the best personality. She is silly and goofy and happy all the time now. Once she started walking she stopped crying all the time. If only she would've started walking at two months! hahaha! She still doesn't sleep through the night and she rarely eats. She is way tiny....only 21 pounds and 31 inches. She is 18 months old now. She says, mommy, dada, chelsie, daisy, shoes, juice, cheese, bottle, kitty, dog, bye, night night and some others and of course babbles non stop in baby gibberish. She looks like her daddy with my eyes. She is so beautiful! And so much fun. She is a great climber and loves to clean....well she tries but usually makes a bigger mess. She wants to be such a big girl. Doesn't want much for toys. Pens, the computer basically anything we play with she wants to play with. Doesn't watch TV unless Elmo is on. She can do the hokey pokey. She can find things you didn't know you lost and lose things you really need to find. She can throw things away on command and knows to give you the phone when it rings or vibrates. Bath time is her fav except fo the washing part. hahaha! She loves the stairs and is a huge animal lover! I love my baby girl! Must go home now. Hope you are satisfied with the updates. I will have new pics posted soon!
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