More....

My baby girl is also very nurturing. When you are sick she wants to take of you. She will rub your back if you are vomitting while she cries because she is scared for you. She is so sweet. A couple of weekends ago was really bad for me. I was in so much pain from head to toe. She new I didn't feel good and just sat and watched Elmo or played with her toys. Every so often she would come over to the couch and rest her head on my chest and rub my head as if to say, "I'ts ok mommy. You will feel better soon." She is the most loving baby! Not much for cuddles though.

I have picked up the are of sewing. I post some pics soon. It is super fun and relaxing for me. I love it!

ALL the updates for the last year

Sooo...Where to begin.....Christmas last year was great. We went to gmas house and had a wonderful family dinner. Shortly thereafter we moved back to SL. Things didn't work out with Daves job at T-Town. The guy was a douche! We lived with Chari(Daves youngest sister) for a bit when we first moved back. That didn't work out very well. Then I went to my moms for 5 weeks so she could FINALLY meet her granddaughter. It was great. We really enjoyed our time out there. The last week we were there I started getting really emotional and crying a lot. I thought it was just because I was leaving and didn't really want to and it was the first time I was away from my husband and thought I just needed to be with him again. I got back and it got worse. It got to the point where I couldn't make myself stop crying. I found no joy in anything. Not even my beautiful baby girl. It was like the joy had been sucked out of me. I felt like running away from everything and everyone I knew and start a new life. My mom (in-law) was very supportive. I thought she would hate me for hurting Dave and Autumn so much. I took care of her but didn't play with her anymore. Had interest in her or Dave. Everyone kept telling me it was just depression put I didn't feel depressed. I didn't feel anything at all. But at the same time couln't stop crying either. Finally everyone convinced me that I needed help and commited myself to the psych ward. Best thing I ever did! Spent 11 glorious day there.....hahahaha. Got on some meds...which I'm glad to say I have not been on for several months now. I still take celexa for my anxiety. No one likes to be around someone who is angry all the time. I was suffering from post partum depression. Apparently it can hit anywhere in the first 2 years of birth. WOW! That was a trip.
Last year was tough...we lost virtually everything. But we have our family and eachother. I have many blessing in my life and many things to be thankful for. I think this last year was a also a breakthrough for me and the in-laws. We had a few helacious fights but I think we are all ok now. I finally feel like I am truely part of the family. It is a great feeling. I wouldn't trade them for anything in the world. ok maybe a million dollars....hahahaha just kidding mom! Really!
New developments.......I have a real blood sister! woo hoo! Always new that but never knew more then her first name. We are getting to know eachother. The good, bad and even the ugly truth. I think we will be great friends and always family.....Merry Christmas! My brother may be coming to visit for Christmas for two weeks with his wife. I am so excited! I haven't seen him in three years and have never met his beautiful wifey. I hope the weather lets them come!
As for Autumn... so much to say there! She is a handful! Finally stopped screaming at 6 months....well started tapering down anyway. She is super funny! She has the best personality. She is silly and goofy and happy all the time now. Once she started walking she stopped crying all the time. If only she would've started walking at two months! hahaha! She still doesn't sleep through the night and she rarely eats. She is way tiny....only 21 pounds and 31 inches. She is 18 months old now. She says, mommy, dada, chelsie, daisy, shoes, juice, cheese, bottle, kitty, dog, bye, night night and some others and of course babbles non stop in baby gibberish. She looks like her daddy with my eyes. She is so beautiful! And so much fun. She is a great climber and loves to clean....well she tries but usually makes a bigger mess. She wants to be such a big girl. Doesn't want much for toys. Pens, the computer basically anything we play with she wants to play with. Doesn't watch TV unless Elmo is on. She can do the hokey pokey. She can find things you didn't know you lost and lose things you really need to find. She can throw things away on command and knows to give you the phone when it rings or vibrates. Bath time is her fav except fo the washing part. hahaha! She loves the stairs and is a huge animal lover! I love my baby girl! Must go home now. Hope you are satisfied with the updates. I will have new pics posted soon!

OMG! It has been tooo long

It has been over a year since I last updated our blog. I am sooooooooo Sorry! I promise to get this updated by Christmas so keep your eyes open! New photos and updates of the family and of course my sweet baby Autumn will be coming soon! Thank you for your patience.....

I Love My Family

We spent this last weekend with our family. Dave had a bad week so we just wanted to get away from everything and be around the ones we love the most and be surrounded by people who love us. I have to say despite the couch and floor it was very relaxing. The first night neither of us slept. Autumn slept from 10:30 to 6:00 without a peep the whole night! I was impressed. Then she napped from 7:30 to 11! Woo Hoo! That day was pretty crazy though. She wanted nothing to do with anyone but Dave or myself. Sunday night (the 2nd night) she slept from 10 to 6 again without a peep. WOW!!! Monday was great! We slept decent Sunday night so we were more rested. Autumn was an absolute joy to be around. Grandma had to work so she missed most of it but Poppa (Grandpa) really got to enjoy her company. I know that Grandparents love their grandbabies but I'm telling you, I have never seen anyone light up the way they do around her. Our family (both sides) have had some very hard times the last few years and though it seems as if there is no light at the end of the tunnel, when she is around you would never know it. All the troubles in the world seem to disappear. I know they do for Dave and I every time we see that beautiful smile and hear that adorable laugh. I never realized what she meant to this family until this last weekend. The sparkle has been there since day one, but seeing everyone with her this past weekend and being around them for the entire weekend I finally realize that she is exactly what this family has needed. She is the light at the end of the tunnel. I can not tell you how nice it was to be around the family this weekend. We might all be crazy at times and don't always get along, but when it counts, when it really matters and when we really need it, we are all there for eachother. I am proud to call them my family and I couldn't wish for a better group of people to raise my daughter with. She is so loved and adored by everyone in her life. When you see them with her and the way they look at her...... there is no doubt..... she is their angel as well as ours... a miracle from God and a true blessing...... We love you!!!!!

5 Months Old

Autumn is 5 months old today! She is so cute! I swear she gets cuter every single day. More demanding too. But you know something? All the bad days seem to disappear everytime I see that beautiful smile and that sparkle in her eyes. She is so smart and funny too. She learns new things everyday and she has the cutes personality. She gets so excited about things like me talking to her or her reflection or absolutely nothing. It is so cute too. She starts laughing and giggling and her arms fly around and her legs kick. It is so damn cute. I never thought I would be able to have any more kids so when I found out I was pregnant with her it was a miracle! And through the all the crying, sleepless nights, personal frustrations and emotional meltdowns, she is PERFECT!!! I can't believe she has been with us for 5 months already. Amazing.......

Firsts

We picked her up from Aunt Chelsie's yesterday. She had a great time! She went shopping with Chelsie, Chari and Grandma. They spoiled her rotten! I have to say though, it was a miserable weekend for us. We should have revelled in the freedom of not having her here but instead we counted the seconds until it was time to pick her up. We are pathetic! hahaha!

Today Autumn finally ate from a spoon. We've been trying this out for about a month now. Finally she got it down. She ate cereal from a spoon and bottles for breakfast and lunch. She only wanted her bottle for dinner though. She looked so cute! She kept grabbing my hand and pulling it to her face. She had cereal and peaches from her nose down!! She makes me laugh! She was laughing all day today. She is so freakin' cute. I love her so much!!!!